A Cup of Tea
by Hadisia
Summary: If there was only one person for everyone in this world, then wouldn’t your heart shatter when they were gone? Wouldn’t it explode inside of you, leaving your body to slowly die while it lay in pieces on the floor?" Remus and Hakkai talk over tea.


TITLE: A Cup of Tea  
  
AUTHOR: Forensic Ninja  
  
RATING: G  
  
WARNING: Hints of Sirius/Remus and Gojyo/Hakkai; mentions of Gonou/Kanan (which means incest is also mentioned)  
  
SUMMARY: "If there was only one person for everyone in this world, then wouldn't your heart shatter when they were gone? Wouldn't it explode inside of you, leaving your body to slowly die while it lay in pieces on the floor?" Remus and Hakkai talk over tea.  
  
"May I sit here?"  
  
Remus looked up from the paper he wasn't reading. A tall, thin man with dark hair and a kind face stood by the table with a cup of tea in his hands.  
  
Remus nodded, unable to say much. The man looked as if he could be an older, happier version of Harry, especially with his green eyes and round glasses. But he knew that Harry had never smiled like that and probably never would.  
  
"Thank you. You see, I'm afraid to venture out of this room – I don't quite trust the other ones in this house. Besides, you look as though you need someone to talk to."  
  
Remus was taken aback, but he tried not to show it.  
  
"Er...actually, I was just..."  
  
"Ah, the paper," said the man. "Yes. I noticed that it must have been a very interesting article – you hadn't turned the page in ten minutes."  
  
Remus stared at the man, dumbfounded.  
  
"I'm being rude, aren't I? I'm sorry. I'm Cho Hakkai, from China." He held his hand out, smiling.  
  
Cho Hakkai. China. He must part of the group Albus called upon, Remus thought.  
  
Remus shook the offered hand. "I'm Remus Lupin, Mr Cho. It's...a pleasure to meet you..."  
  
"Please, call me Hakkai.[1] We're all working together, aren't we? Remus."  
  
Remus looked at him. "Yes, I suppose so..."  
  
For the next half hour, Hakkai chatted with Remus, inquiring about the Order, Hogwarts and England in general. Remus was surprised at how well the man spoke the language and told him as such.  
  
"Oh, no!" Hakkai said. "I only know a little. It's Gojyo who has a knack with languages – he'd never study one, but after a few minutes listening to someone, he'll pick it up. I'm sure he's already learned how to swear."  
  
"Gojyo...? Is he the one who was asking about restaurants?"  
  
"No, that's Goku. But he was probably hitting Goku."  
  
Remus thought for a moment. "The blond man with the scripture and the paper fan?"  
  
"Ah, that was Sanzo. No, the other one, the redhead with the cockroach antennae. But don't tell him I said that."  
  
"That man." The man hitting on Emmeline, then. And Hestia. And Tonks.  
  
"Yes, him. You'll meet him sooner or later, I'm sure of it."  
  
"I believe I already have."  
  
Now Remus remembered him. The tall, boisterous redhead who had been playing with Harry and Ron and – Goku? – in the sitting room. Remus's heart had almost stopped when he had seen Harry laugh.  
  
Hakkai smiled again and took another sip of his tea. He looked at Remus for a few minutes, his gaze gentle and yet probing at Remus, searching for something. Remus looked away.  
  
"He reminds you of someone, does he?" Hakkai said softly.  
  
Remus came to a halted and stared at Hakkai incredulously.  
  
"I could see it in your face," Hakkai said, as if answering some unspoken question. "Gojyo...does he remind you of Sirius Black?"  
  
"I..." Remus managed to say. "I...what?"  
  
Hakkai smiled knowingly.  
  
"You two...you were the quiet, bookish one, and he was the wild man, wasn't he? It's like that with us, too."  
  
"I..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
Hakkai smiled at him again, and Remus was forced to remember that this man was a complete stranger, that they barely knew each other, and that talking about it could be a very bad idea...  
  
"How did you know?" Remus asked, voice hoarse. "Did Albus-"  
  
"-ask me to talk to you? No," Hakkai said. "I pieced it together from what I'd heard. And then I came here to have some tea." As if to prove his point, Hakkai took another sip. "You see...I, too, have lost someone I loved."  
  
Remus stared at him again. He knew it was rude to stare, his mother had always said so, but...  
  
"Although I don't believe my reaction was quite the same."  
  
"What happened?" Remus found himself asking, before remembering that that was a rude question to ask someone. But Hakkai simply continued smiling.  
  
"I lived in a village seven years ago[2] with my sister and lover, Kanan," Hakkai began, ignoring how wide Remus's eyes went. "I had been a cold, angry child living in a Catholic orphanage since I was seven – our parents died, and Kanan and I were separated, you see. But when we found each other years later at the age of 17, I was happy again. We lived in a village together, where I was a schoolteacher and she gave piano lessons at home.[3] For the first time since I was a child, I was happy. Happy with her and the life we had together."  
  
Hakkai took another sip of his tea.  
  
"When she was taken away from me, I felt like there was nothing left for me in this world. Why should I continue living? Nothing could bring her back. I killed so many, and still she died. I was sure I had failed her somehow. Why hadn't I known she was in danger? Why hadn't I been there to protect her? Why hadn't I been able to save her? Did what happen mean that I didn't love her enough?"  
  
Hakkai gave Remus a sad smile.  
  
"I imagine that's how you feel now, isn't it? Remus," he said. "Ah, I seem to be out of tea."  
  
Remus watched as the man walked over to the counter and poured himself another cup.  
  
"You look like you want to ask something," Hakkai said as he walked back.  
  
"...how old are you, Hakkai?" Remus asked, knowing it was rude and knowing he was probably mispronouncing the name. He didn't care.  
  
"Twenty-six, Remus."  
  
"You seem older."  
  
Hakkai chuckled. "Molly said that, too. But I don't think she knew why."  
  
"Mm." Remus takes a moment to look down at the table and wonder what he, a man of thirty-seven, was talking to a twenty-six-year-old about love for.  
  
"I used to think..." Hakkai began. "I used to think...that there was one person in the world for everyone. But now I know better." Hakkai's green eyes flashed to the door to the sitting room for a brief, almost unnoticeable moment. "If there was only one person for everyone in this world, then wouldn't your heart shatter when they were gone? Wouldn't it explode inside of you, leaving your body to slowly die while it lay in pieces on the floor?  
  
"When Kanan died, I was sure I would die, too. I almost did," he laughed softly. "But I didn't die. Instead, I met Gojyo – he rescued me and took me in. He saved my life. And I found someone to live for." Hakkai paused. "I found a lot of people to live for, after that."  
  
Hakkai sat his tea down and looked Remus right in the eye.  
  
"Don't you have quite a lot of people to live for...Remus Lupin?"  
  
Remus stared at Hakkai for a few moments, unsure of what to say. He thought of Harry, alone in the world, and of Ron and Hermione, confused and not knowing how to help their friend. He remembered Dumbledore and Tonks and the Weasleys and even Snape, down in his dark, dank dungeons.  
  
"Hakkai..." Remus said.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"...thank you."  
  
Hakkai smiled again.[4]  
  
"No need," he said. "I just came down here for a cup of tea."  
  
[1] If this were in Japanese, Hakkai would actually be calling Remus "Remus- san", or possibly "Lupin-san"; however, since Hakkai is supposed to be from China, and because "Mr Remus" and "Mr Lupin" sounded stupid in my mind, Remus is simply called "Remus" here.  
  
[2] In the Reload manga, there's a short gag comic about it being the group's first year anniversary since the start of their journey. And since three years passed since Sanzo and Goku met Gojyo and Hakkai and the start of the journey, Reload was about four years after Kanan. I added three years for the rest of the series and possibly afterwards (keep in mind, I have read up to Reload 3 in the manga – in Japanese and in English – and I've only seen up to episode 46 in the Gensoumaden Saiyuuki anime. I have yet to see Reload, Reload Gunlock, or any of the movies/OAVs.  
  
[3] I'm actually not quite sure of how Gonou came to live in an orphanage, how his parents died, how he and Kanan knew they were siblings, or what age they met at (or how they met again!). My guess is that they were separated as children and happened to find each other later in life. I also made up the piano lessons, because I don't like the idea of Kanan simply staying at home, doing nothing.  
  
[4] If you don't read/watch Saiyuki and are sick and tired of Hakkai always smiling...that's what he does. He's almost always smiling, though whether or not he always means it is anyone's guess. 


End file.
